Focus

I hate it when I lose focus.

When I lose focus, I get insecure and I become very easily annoyed. And, I somehow manage to offend and hurt people who love me and people whom I love, with no apparent reasons.

2013 has been passing by way too fast, and I lost focus a few times. It is painful to think of those moments when I lost focus, because I offended and hurt too many people during those moments. But now, I finally managed to find my footing in 2013, and I am so enjoying 2013.

There are so many things to give thanks for, but not now, I just need a bit more time to sink myself deeper into all these good things that happened.

I am back. I needed to be back. I wanted to be back. I want to be back.

暗示

我就似一直没有脚的小鸟,不能停下来,只能不停地往你心里飞去。

不能喝咖啡的我呼吸着我响往的咖啡香,却品尝着热巧克力。或许,人世间很多事情都是这个样子吧!你响往的并不是你拥有的。当我爱上你的那一刻时,我也爱上了星巴克的咖啡。还记得我第一次喝你买给我的星巴克Frappucino时,我喝到的是暗恋的脸红心跳与不知所措。那一晚,我呕吐了整个晚上。医生说我的胃病不让我喝咖啡。我不敢让你知道,因为我不想失去与你一起投身于你喜欢的咖啡香的机会。那一晚,我呕得胃都给翻了过来,但我还是微笑着进入梦乡。

2011 part 1

Lord, I am thankful for everything You've done for me and given to me. I knew that I was Your masterpiece, and I believed that You created me; but I just couldn't help thinking that I was Your least favourite masterpiece considering what a wreck I had been. But, Your grace reached and lifted me. You proved to me again that You're faithful to me even when I wasn't faithful to You. Lord, I am thankful.

Lord, I would never think that my sister would have a chance to know You considering her character and attitudes towards Christianity. But, You used the pregnancy to show her how great and loving You are. When she told me that she could see Your hand upon her throughout the process of pregnancy, I was amazed beyond words! Only You could do such a thing. When she asked me to teach her how to pray to You, tears filled my eyes. I gave up on sharing with her and praying for her, because all I could see was how hard her heart was towards You. I never saw how powerful You could be, but You showed me just again Your power. When she told me she felt peace and joy in her heart after she prayed to You, I knew You've open the door of salvation. Lord, thank You so much! I promise You that I'll never give up on praying for anyone anymore!

Lord, I finally experienced a little bit of the 'it is well with my soul' moment. When I first heard the story of the man who wrote the song 'It is well with my soul', I couldn't understand how he could say that his soul was well after his four daughters died. But, I finally understood, not to the extent, but a little bit of it. I would never think that I could bring the show, Walk with me, to completion. But, I did. And, the good comments and testimonies were just so overwhelming when I heard them. It's not my work but Yours. I can still remember two months before the show, I wanted to give up. In fact, I prayed for an open door for me to give up. But, You comforted my heart and told me to go on. I couldn't believe that You could help me because those problems I faced then were just so huge, but You told me to trust You again and again. You told me to do my best and leave the outcome to You. You assured me that I needed to go through this process to see how faithful You can be so my faith would be challenged to the next level. Because, when You finally bring me into missions, there will be times that I just need to believe and press on. So, I struggled and finally surrender everything into Your hands. I remember telling You that I didn't want to be worried anymore, and no matter how big those problems were, my soul was well and I could give You praise. So, when You asked me to go to Bangladesh for missions just a month before the show, I knew I could go even there were still things that I needed get done. I was calm and I knew You were in control. To the day of performance, instead of being nervous, I was more excited than nervous because I knew it was time to see Your glory and miracles. Lord, did You know that I could hear You saying to me 'Now your faith has grown to the next level' when I was standing on stage listening to the cheering and clapping of hands. Testimonies about people being moved and touched have not stop coming to me until now, two weeks after the show. Thank You!

When I was asking why hadn't You provided me the money for the trip to Bangladesh? You showed me that money was always there. Lord, thank You so much for Your provision. Your provision is always more than enough! Now, I can't stand my lack of words!!! If only I had words that can express half my gratitude!!! God, You're super awesome!!!

Sponsored trip to the US next year? God, You know me just so well!!! You know where I want to go, and You know that I won't have enough money to go, but You're bringing me there for free!!! I want to jump up and down to praise You now!!!

Lord, I'm thankful for all the time that I had with my family! I'm thankful for my new born cute nephew!!! I'm thankful for Your hand being upon my sister and her baby, or we would have lost him. God, thank You so much!

I'm thankful for my parent's health!
I'm thankful for Bell's work!
I'm thankful for every single opportunity that You have given to my brothers.
I'm thankful for all the supportive friends I have!
I'm thankful for a good boss that I have.
I'm thankful for church members who love me.
I'm thankful for Calvin's jokes.
I'm thankful for Fai Chai.
I'm thankful for Aunt Paula.
I'm thankful for Joseph.
I'm thankful for Hai Chin who loves me with her whole heart even though I am the hardest person to love.

I'm truly truly truly thankful for who You are, Jesus!

23-08-2011

Jesus had chosen to die on the cross for me, He went all out for me. Will I go all out for Him? Lord, I pray that You give me the strength to go all out for You!

19th of August 2011

Another 16 days to the mission trip to Bangladesh, and I still do not have the money that I need for the trip. I was so tempted to ask around for support but when I was praying, I just felt that God was telling me that I should just wait for His provision. So, I am just going to wait. God, please make this waiting a testimony for Your name.

Psalm 30:5

For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.
Dear brothers and sisters from GCC,

He says 'Masterpiece in the making'!!!

With love,
Lawrence
I am humbled by Pastor Selina. The way she trusts God to provide. The confident smile on her face that says 'My-God-is-bigger-than-all-my-problems' just moves my heart so much!

I am humbled by Christopher Koh. The way he gives himself to serve God through struggles and temptations. Sometimes, the 'I-am-not-sure' leaks out of his defence wall, but it only shows me how powerful God is. Even when one is not sure, God works miracles as long as one chooses to follow Him.

I am humbled by Matthew P. The way he talks passionately about sharing Christ with his friends. When he looks straigth into me when I talk about God, I see 'Tell-me-more-about-God' in his eyes.

I am humbled by Jesus. The way He loves me and the way He enables me to love Him. The joy He gives is strong enough to guide me through the mountains and the seas.
Yet to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God. John 1:12

Father, I am trully thankful for the right You have given to my two friends to be called the children of God. After church camp, some of my questions are still left unanswered, but I am thankful. Nothing can bring me more joy than to see the lost coming to know You.

Father, please hear the cries in my heart for my family, Yuan Yuan and Kyle. Please give them the chance to call You Father. Father, I believe that they will come to know You because I can see their names being etched on Your heart.

Father, I love You.
对不起,我并没有看到你在我布落格所留下的片言只字。终于,我看到也读到了。希望你不要误会我对你的留言故意不理不睬。

很替你高兴你找到了他。祝你快乐。

我为我的不懂人情世故而道歉。